Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is often thought of as a childhood condition that primarily affects boys. However, more women are now being diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood, sometimes after years—or even decades—of struggling without answers. Research shows that women are consistently underdiagnosed with ADHD, and this delay can bring up not only relief but also grief.

At Darvell Psychology in Belmont, Geelong, I support women navigating the emotional impact of a late ADHD diagnosis through psychodynamic therapy.

Why Women Are Often Underdiagnosed with ADHD

ADHD symptoms can present differently in women compared to men. While boys are more likely to show outward hyperactivity, women often experience more internalised symptoms such as:

• Daydreaming or being “inattentive”

• Forgetfulness or disorganisation

• Struggling with time management

• Feeling overwhelmed by daily tasks

• Emotional sensitivity and mood fluctuations

Because these symptoms are less disruptive, they are often overlooked, dismissed as personality traits, or misdiagnosed as anxiety or depression. As a result, many women do not receive the right support until much later in life.

The Grief of a Late ADHD Diagnosis

Finally receiving an ADHD diagnosis as an adult can bring immense clarity and relief—but it can also stir up grief. Women may find themselves reflecting on:

• Lost opportunities: wondering how school, career, or relationships might have been different with earlier support

• Self-blame: regretting years of feeling “lazy,” “scattered,” or “not good enough”

• Identity shifts: needing to reframe their self-understanding in light of the diagnosis

• Anger or sadness: toward systems, teachers, or health professionals who may have missed the signs

This grief is valid and important to process. Without addressing it, women may continue to carry shame and frustration, even after receiving a diagnosis.

How Psychodynamic Therapy Can Help with ADHD-Related Grief

At Darvell Psychology in Belmont, Geelong, I offer psychodynamic psychotherapy to support women who are processing the emotional impact of a late ADHD diagnosis. This approach provides a safe space to explore not just the symptoms of ADHD, but also the feelings of loss, anger, and sadness that often come with years of being misunderstood.

Through therapy, we can:

• Explore the grief associated with missed opportunities and misdiagnosis

• Understand how past experiences have shaped your self-perception

• Work through feelings of shame, regret, or anger

• Develop self-compassion and a stronger sense of identity

• Build resilience and new ways of relating to yourself and others

Moving Forward with Understanding and Self-Compassion

A late ADHD diagnosis doesn’t erase the past, but it can mark the beginning of a new chapter—one with greater understanding, support, and self-acceptance. Psychodynamic therapy can help women process their grief, embrace their diagnosis, and move forward with clarity and confidence.

If you are a woman seeking ADHD support in Belmont or Geelong, therapy may provide the space you need to heal, understand yourself more fully, and create a more empowered future.